Category: Life

7/1/2025

I always had a problem with trying too hard. And I always felt the resistance, the feeling deep down inside that knows that something is off. I had always ignored it because I found it hard not to live in accordance to other people and their rules, for the benefit of society and how I seemed and not for what I truly wanted.

There have also been times where I have felt the flow of life and those times are the only times where I knew for sure that what I was doing felt right. I think it is those moments that you are acting in harmony with you. There has always been a peace that has come with the flow because it is the path of least resistance and in accordance to the natural path.

I don’t believe there is a formula for this though. I have tried many times to figure out how to get to that point of acceptance and letting go. I have spent hours sleuthing on Youtube and Reddit, listening to advice on what to do and how to live. Looking back though, I don’t think any of it actually helped. I couldn’t implement the advice because I couldn’t internalise it and I couldn’t feel its purpose. I think finally I figured out that the answer is to just to trust yourself. To sit in those feelings and breathe and let it guide the way. I firmly believe that the answer is inside all along, you just have to trust that it is there.

In a conversation with a friend and a trip to China, I discovered that this is the philosophy of Taoism. To find the path of least resistance and move in harmony with nature and what is meant to be. I am holding onto this as I move with my life. To not try to hard, and to understand that things turn out for the better and fall into place. There is a hope in this that will get us through hard times, not only spiritually but it has also been confirmed psychologically. In Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl, he explains that one of the ways to persevere through suffering is to find meaning. If you believe that any pain you are going through is for the best, and that it is meant to be, I believe you can get through anything.

Life is hard and confusing and often doesn’t work out the way we want it to. I have never been able to predict what wonderful things, good or bad, have fallen into its path. The only thing I do know is that it will be okay, and that I have always been able to move forwards, with more knowledge, understanding, and grace in my heart.

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6/1/2025

What a classic way to start a blog post. I almost feel old with this title, but as everyone I have recently asked for advice has reminded me – I am exceptionally young. I don’t feel very young though. I feel like I have gone through a lot of life but I know that they are right and I haven’t at all.

Unlike when I was younger, I feel like the older I grow up the less I know and the less sure I am about everything and everyone. It’s a strange feeling to experience more of the world but realise you know even less every time. What catapulted this feeling was my break up with my very best friend, my rock for the last three years of my life, someone I loved so deeply (to the extent that you can love at 20). I truly believed that this would be it forever. Your best friend turned lover is the most romantic love story that can be, and l am a hopeless romantic.

Yet, at the very same time that I desperately wanted to be with my best friend, I knew a part of my soul wasn’t ready. I spent a majority of the last four years of my life chasing happiness through romantic partners and deriving my value through them. I knew this was a problem when we started seeing each other but I was too blindly in love and in denial to follow through with I wanted. Not only was I afraid to lose someone I loved but I was afraid to trust myself. And here I am, half a year later, in pain but given the wonderful opportunity to finally do so.

So I thank my lover for the love he has shown me and I thank him for setting me free.